


Down for You

by LJUYE0NZ



Category: The Boyz (Korea Band)
Genre: A TO BOYZ, M/M, Mentioned The Boyz Ensemble
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-15
Updated: 2021-03-15
Packaged: 2021-03-23 17:15:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,697
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30058863
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LJUYE0NZ/pseuds/LJUYE0NZ
Summary: I wish you told me.then you wouldn't have to feel alone.
Relationships: Kim Younghoon/Lee Jaehyun | Hyunjae
Comments: 1
Kudos: 9





	Down for You

**Author's Note:**

> listen to I'll Never Love Again by Lady Gaga and A to Boyz Younghoon - Say Something for complete experience. please don't expect a lot since this is my first story i ever created.

_ It was awfully cold the whole morning. I was dreading wearing so many layers but then I remember that I’m going to be wearing the coat that you got me, so that makes it bearable. I was on my way to our usual bus stop when I catch a glimpse of your white sneakers and your side profile that shows your cute little nose, and I couldn’t help but smile knowing that it was you.  _

“Hi,” 

“Good morning, Younghoon!”  _ Your bright smile is what starts my day.  _

“Did you sleep well last night?” 

“I couldn’t,” “I was up all night finishing the final project”  _Now I see why you’re yawning so much. I wish I could’ve helped you with it so you could’ve had some sleep._

“Why didn’t you let Juyeon and Jacob do it?” 

“No, they completed their part, I was the last one to do it,”

“Oh” 

“Anyways, we still gotta wait 15 minutes for the bus,” 

_We sat down patiently waiting for the bus. You were restlessly rubbing your hands together to keep warm. I knew then that you forgot your heat pack again. Clearly, you lack some sleep._

“Here,” _I hand you my heat pack, seeing that you needed it more than I do. But it wasn’t enough. You were still shivering._

“You don’t have to, you know, hug me,” 

“Trembling so much because of the cold, now tell me how are you going to keep yourself warm,”

“I- fine,”  _and you rolled your eyes while tightening your embrace, enough to make me chuckle a bit. We were like that for what felt like hours. I wish I could envelope you with my embrace for longer._

“Look, there’s our bus!”

_We went inside, and the bus wasn’t crowded but we still chose to sit beside each other._

“Here,”  _I tapped on my shoulders,_

“What am I gonna do with it?” 

“I know you are sleepy, you should get some sleep even for a little while,” 

“Oh, thank you”  _you rested your head on my shoulders, and just like that, your eyes are shut, your face - peaceful as a morning spring breeze. I could look at you for hours and never get tired. How can such a beautiful face and dazzling eyes hold so much mystery._

_I shouldn't have woken you up but we needed to go to school, so I silently tapped your shoulders. Your eyes, still as heavy as they were before we got on the bus._

"Are you still sleepy?" 

"20 minutes is not enough sleep"  _you mumbled. Seeing how tired you are, you must have had a really exhausting night._

"Wait here" 

"Younghoon where are you going! We are almost in school" 

_I ran as fast as I could, went to the nearest coffee shop and bought you the same latte that you order every Friday._

"Here"  _I tried to hide my panting, so you wouldn't notice._

"You are so dumb, you shouldn't have run all the way there to get coffee, but thank you," 

"Anything for you," 

"I'll treat you later after school, thank you for this,"  _you said as you take a sip of the drink._ "Ah, it's nice,"  _and you looked at me,_ "you really know what I love huh?" 

"You order that every Friday," 

"and how do you know that?" 

"I just... I know... come on we're gonna be late"  _I said awkwardly. I couldn't tell you that I always observe you because you would think of it as weird._ "Come on, Younghoon, how do you know this is my favorite drink~"  _you keep on asking until we reached the classroom._

_We were like that everyday._

_Each day passes and we become closer and closer. I was starting to grow deeply in love with you._

_I love the way you cheer everyone up, especially when you try so hard to make me smile when I'm upset._

_I love that you are humble and smart and nice to everyone._

_I love that you see good in everyone._

_You are the goodness that this world needed._

_We just got out of our last class and I remember the smile that you had on. It was your brightest smile._ “Younghoon, come on! We can’t miss the bus!”  _I knew you were trying your best so I just went with what you want._

"Where are we even going," 

"Younghoon, do you trust me?"  _you said in a serious manner._

"Of course, I do," 

"Then just stay still,"  _and smiled mysteriously._

_You were quiet the whole ride while I'm here, still clueless as to where we are going. You suddenly pressed the button, signaling that we are near the place we are going._

_I can see the excitement in your eyes when we got there_. 

"Amusement park?"  _I asked_

"Yes! To throw all your concerns away! You are worrying way too much about college! You passed that test, I'm 100% sure,"  _you assured me._

_And just like that we were in the middle of a line. We were having a blast. We cannot help hut laugh at each other when we got off the roller coaster._

"You suck at riding roller coaster,"

"I can say the same about you, Hyunjae," 

_We rode a couple more rides when we decided to sit down for a while to eat. But as we were in the middle of eating, you suddenly grabbed my hand and took off._

"Wait, our food!" 

"Come on, we might not be able to catch it!"  _ you said while running .  _

_We were able to catch the fireworks display. It was beautiful._

"Younghoon, come here, let's take a picture," 

_And we took hundreds. As if it was our last._

_And then it was time to go home._

"Did you have fun?" 

"It was actually one of the best days I've had." 

"Glad I was able to make you smile." 

"But you always make me smile,"  _I whispered, hoping that you can hear what my heart wants to say._

"Our bus is still 25 minutes away," 

"I still hate that building,"  _you said abruptly_

"What building?"

"There! Look!"  _you pointed at the apartments with a clear interior view. I still remember the first day you told me that. We were also here at this same exact spot, waiting for our bus to arrive. It became our habit, to mask yearning with hatred._

"You do realize no matter how many times we talk about it, it won't disappear right?"  _I replied jokingly._

"No, I know that... it's just... look at that! That's obnoxious,"  _and our chit-chat went on and on until the bus arrived._

_No one was in the bus. Except for the driver and us two. Just the way I like it._

_Your eyes started to feel heavy, and as usual, I offered you my shoulder. I love it when you sleep on my shoulder. I love that I can look at your face without you knowing._

_I was afraid to wake you up, but I wanted to get rid of your hair that was on your face. So I carefully caressed your hair to the side, when I was again mesmerized by your ethereal beauty. I suddenly had the urge to kiss you._

_Your lips look like they are as soft as a baby's._

_They are as red as the roses._

_But I tried to hold myself back, knowing I can't do that without your consent._

"Younghoon, I know you love staring at me but we are almost at the stop,"  _you said that startled me. I did not know you were awake. I was so embarrassed of myself._

"Are you shy? Oh my, Younghoon"  _your teasing remarks._

"I'm not staring at you,"  _ I tried hiding. _

"Oh yeah, like you were not staring at me for a good 15 minutes,"  _you replied amused at my face which is burning up from shyness._

_You were teasing me about it until we reached the stop._

_We got off the bus and you said to me_ “I can finally rest.”

_We were walking towards home, only silence between us. Comforting silence._

"I'm here,"  _you said. But I don't want you to go. I wish we could stay together longer._

"Well, I gues it's a good night then" I replied. 

"It is a good night,"  _and then you kissed my cheeks._

"I'll see you in your dreams,"  _your last remark before heading inside your house._

_But what I did not know is that it would be the last time I’m going to see your face._

_Last time to see your eyes._

_Last time to feel your hands._

_Last time to hear your voice._

_Last time to see your beaming smile._

_It has been 6 years since. I am now with my new friends. But I still think of you all the time._

_I miss you, Hyunjae._

_And it hurts that I can't have you back._

_I didn't even get to say goodbye. I always blame myself for not knowing. I should've known. I was there by your side. Why didn't you reach to me? I would've dropped everything jist to be with you that night. I wouldn't think twice to go run after you._

_If I could, I would've split my heart in two just to try and fix your broken one._

_I would've taken my chance and told you how I feel._

_I would've brought you dinner dates and movies which you yearn for._

_I wouldn't let anyone speak ill of you._

_I wouldn't even let a fly harm you._

_I want to bring you to places you've never seen, maybe go somewhere only the two of us know._

_I want to watch the sun rise with you by my side._

_I want to live a life knowing that you are there as my anchor._

_There are so many things I wanted to do with you._

_But more than anything,_

_I want to give you the love that you deserve._

_I think I haven't said this but..._

_I love you._

_I don't even think I can love another person like how I love you._

_Thank you for loving me as well._

_Even if you are not here, I know you are by my side._

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading this! it means a lot to me! please leave feedbacks if you liked it! twt: @LJUYE0NZ


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